Becoming a mother is no easy transition, and losing yourself in motherhood is more common than we like to admit. Here you will learn ways to rediscover yourself after motherhood and blossom into the mother and woman you want to be.
Being a mom is a full-time job and a huge change for most of us. Our little humans need so much attention and love to learn and grow into their own person.
On top of caring for our littles, we have the tasks of cleaning the house, doing their laundry, cooking for the family, being their chauffeur, and the list goes on.
It can be easy to forget about yourself in the mix and slack on self-care, your goals, things you enjoy, etc.
I’m here to help you rediscover yourself after motherhood! Because we are important too! After all, our children depend on us, and our mental health needs to be a priority to be fully present for them.
Here you will learn different ways to find your new identity (as a mom and bad ass superwoman), creative ways to take time for yourself, and how to start doing things you love again (even if that means finding a job you love or old hobbies you used to enjoy).
I have been there, and I can’t wait to help you on your self-discovery journey!
This post is all about how to rediscover yourself after motherhood
Rediscover Yourself After Motherhood
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Why Do Moms Lose Their Identity?
This is a subject no one can really understand until they become a mother. Many of us women had a busy life before becoming a mother. Many of us also haven’t spent much time around kids or babies until becoming new moms.
Becoming a mom for the first time is one of the most challenging transitions we will go through in our lifetime. Before the new role of mom, many of us had a life where we didn’t have to worry about caring for anyone but ourselves (and maybe a pet).
We could sleep in on the weekends. Go out and grab lunch with friends or go on a date on a whim. You probably even took alone time for granted (I know I did).
The first few months of bringing home a new baby will bring many big changes with it. You are literally getting used to a WHOLE NEW WAY OF LIFE.
We become sleep deprived, forget to eat, barely have time for a shower, the house piles up with chores, and even breastfeeding can add to the mental and emotional struggle.
There have also been multiple studies done by scientists that show a woman’s brain does, in fact, change during pregnancy and postpartum. The studies have shown that grey matter shrinks in areas involved in the processing and responding to social signals. So that mothers’ brains can more efficiently allow them to respond to such things as their infant’s needs or detect threatening people in their environments.
No wonder so many women get postpartum depression, and many lose themselves in motherhood. Our brain chemistry literally changes, and often we forget to take care of ourselves. Everything we once knew has completely changed. Our time and body are no longer our own.
the routine we once had for most of our life… GONE
If you were a working mom before, like me. Getting used to being home all day and not concentrating on my business was very difficult. I had so much anxiety and felt so lazy. Even though I knew being home with my baby was so important and my top priority. It was still hard not to have anxiety.
Signs of Motherhood Identity Crisis
If you’re unsure, you’re going through a loss of identity but are not feeling like yourself or finding joy in things you used to. Here is a list of signs that you are, in fact, going through a postpartum identity crisis.
- You are questioning who you are.
- You feel like your days are long and repetitive
- You don’t enjoy hobbies you used to love.
- You can start to feel depressed, anxious, or stop caring for your hygiene.
- You lose your confidence.
- You have no motivation to make goals.
- You feel like you have lost your professional identity.
- You no longer feel attractive for your partner
If any of these are you… I get it. I’ve been there. The good news is you can get yourself out of this rut.
How to Rediscover Yourself After Motherhood
You may be asking yourself, who am I besides a mother? When you’re sucked into the world of motherhood after your new baby’s arrival, it’s easy to lose your sense of identity. Especially when you’re not getting enough sleep.
Instead of dwelling on your old life or your old self… Let’s figure out who you are now! THE NEW VERSION OF YOURSELF. The best version of yourself!
When I was finally able to turn my mindset around, I realized that becoming a mom was a chance to become the best version of myself.
I love my daughter tremendously, which was one of the biggest reasons I knew I needed to better myself for her! She is my WHY.
Yes, you are a mother, but you are also a person who has their own identity and own needs.
Take these small steps to change these hard times into ones you will cherish forever. This is the journey to self-discovery.
Find Your Support System
Trying to do everything on your own is hard! Ever heard the saying “it takes a village?” well, it really does. Put your “I can do it on my own” ego aside and ask for help.
Reach out to your best friend, a family member, your partner, or anyone you have ever leaned on before becoming a mother. I bet they would love to be there for you, even if it’s just taking a call or text to give you emotional support. That support goes a long way.
Start A Gratitude Journal
A gratitude journal has gotten me through many hard times. When you practice gratitude, you are putting good vibes into the universe. It rewires your mind to feel good and thankful for the things you have in the present. When you feel good, the things around you change.
Start your mornings by writing down 5 things you are thankful for. Make a habit of it. Starting your day with gratitude sets your day up on the right track. If you start getting down on yourself later in the day, write down 5 more things you’re thankful for.
Make Time For Self-Care
I know it can be tough to fit self-care in with a newborn, but once they start getting older, it does become easier. But in the first months with a new baby, make it a priority to get in some self-care at least 2 times a week, even if it’s a shower with an added hair mask.
Doing little things for yourself helps SO MUCH with your confidence and self-worth. Little by little, it will help you reconnect to yourself.
If you have trouble figuring out when to fit in self-care or self-care ideas, check out The Complete Guide To Self Care For New Moms.
Start A Hobby
If you used to have a hobby you loved doing, then get back to it! Nap times are the perfect time to have quality time for yourself.
If you would like to start some new hobbies, then, girl, go for it! Don’t overthink it, and just do it. There will always be periods throughout the day you can fit in some you time. Even if it’s 30 minutes.
For me, I started up my blog. I love being creative and writing, plus I really enjoy helping other women that are going through the same things I did.
Working out is another hobby of mine. Since I couldn’t make it to the gym in the first 6 months, I opted for other ways, like taking my baby for walks. She loved it as much as I did.
There are many hobbies you can even do that will make you some extra money. It’s a great way to have fun and feel accomplished.
Get Out Of The House
I could scream this from the rooftops. Get out of the house! Being outside is known to be a mood booster. The best way to find yourself again is by doing things that make you happy.
Take the baby for a walk, go out on date nights (if you can’t find a sitter, then go places you can take your baby to. There are many options.) or go meet a friend at the park. Whatever it is you like doing outside, then go do it.
The biggest thing I see is that moms think they can’t do things anymore because of their babies. On the contrary, you can do most of what you used to do. You will just modify how you do it so you can have your baby with you. I promise you can do it. You just have to believe you can, too.
Make Goals
Having goals is the best way to stay motivated. Making goals gives you something to work toward and feel good about yourself in the process. Break your goals into 3 parts.
- Goals for your family (how would you like your future to look)
- Personal goals (What kind of person do you want to be, how do you want to look, how do you want to feel)
- And Financial goals (Do you want a new job, go back to your old job, or have a new side hustle?)
The more specific you can be when creating those goals the better!
Related Post: How To Practice The Law Of Attraction The Right Way: Create Your Dream Life
The journey of motherhood is a beautiful one. It is a major life change, but it allows you to become the best version of yourself. To work harder than you have before, to become healthier than ever, or discover new things you love to do.
Do not let mom guilt get in the way of wanting to rediscover yourself after motherhood. You are doing it for yourself and your little ones. A happy mom is a great mom and attentive mom. Say goodbye to your old self and get excited to find your new self. The best version of yourself!
This Post Was All About Ways To Rediscover Yourself After Motherhood
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Christina Grant says
Very relevant and helpful ideas for new moms. I like the suggestion about keeping up with hobbies and how you began this blog!
Diana says
Great advice! Most women drop their identity after a large life change – marriage, kids, and kids going to college. I love the care in your blog.
Nelly says
I can relate to what you write in this post. I had a tough time raising my daughter and remaining sane at the same time. I am not afraid of challenges, I embrace them, but having a child – that’s the real challenge in life. Thanks for sharing this helpful post!
Sarah says
Oh my goodness, this was some great information! I’m definitely struggling a bit myself, so this was a perfect read for me!
Lindsey says
This is such an important post. Motherhood is such a blessing, but your honest thoughts tell the story of all things that come with it. It is so important to take care of ourselves and that will help us be the best moms. I could not love my boys more, but that does not change that I need to have an identity too. Thank you for writing this.
Megan | Copy Girl Writes says
I think self-care is something that is so easily overlooked in moms. I’ve struggled with mom guilt (especially building a blog and growing a freelance business). My kids are 7 and 9 so they’re not even babies.
Thanks for sharing this! More moms need to see posts like this.