Let’s face it. Motherhood is not easy. Especially the first year. This guide will help you thrive in your first year of motherhood.
Are you an expecting mom that is preparing yourself for the first year of motherhood? Or a new mom who is in the thick of it, wondering if it will get easier?
In any case, it is true motherhood is hard. The sleepless nights, the exhaustion that keeps your mind from thinking straight, all the hormones that go along with postpartum, the jealousy of your partner getting to sleep in or not sharing the duties equally, and the inability to keep up with the house chores.
Whatever it is, you are not alone.
Although getting used to a whole new way of life is difficult, it is also such a magical year of watching your baby grow, learn, and hit milestones, the endless cuddles and bonding, the tiny little hands and feet, and all the little things that add up to the sweet memories of your little one.
As the age-old saying goes, being a parent is the most challenging yet rewarding thing you will ever do. This guide is here to help you survive and thrive in your first year of motherhood.
We will cover everything from what makes the first year difficult to tips for making each stage easier, postpartum recovery help, How to survive the baby leaps, and how to keep a healthy mindset through it all.
This post is a complete guide to your first year of motherhood.
Your First Year Of Motherhood
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How Hard Is The First Year Of Motherhood?
The Mental Challenge
When you hear a first-time mom talking about how hard the baby’s first year is, you will probably hear them talking about the sleep deprivation they are going through because their baby wakes up often during the night.
You might also hear them say things like the baby is cluster feeding and It’s very demanding, making taking care of the house or anything else tricky. Or that their baby cries often, and it is mentally draining.
While these are absolutely some obstacles you will face, there is so much more to unpack underneath.
Becoming a new mom is the most significant life-changing event you will go through as a woman. Your body, time, and lifestyle are no longer your own. It can be a lot to get used to.
The added hormones your body is still going through in the first couple of months postpartum can make it challenging to feel like yourself.
Many women go through postpartum depression due to a combination of all these things. Still, there are absolutely actions you can take to get out of the depression or avoid it altogether. We will talk about that later on.
Learning Your Baby
As your baby gets older, there are new obstacles you will face. Every baby is different, so remember that some mothers may go through things that others don’t.
Some babies have a difficult time napping, staying asleep, or self-soothing. While others are great nappers and learn to self-soothe quickly.
Other babies, specifically breastfed babies, can have difficulty latching to a bottle when it is introduced. Leading to a stressful time figuring out how to get the baby to take a bottle.
When a baby is at the age of eating, some are very picky. Making it hard to find something they will eat.
There are so many things your little one will go through in the first year. There will be so much trial and error when figuring out what is best for your little one.
Just keep in mind that you’re doing your best!
Related Post: How To Get A Breastfed Baby To Take A Bottle
The Challenge Of Leaps
Babies go through 8 leaps in their first year. It is common for your little one to be more fussy and sensitive than usual.
A leap is when your baby goes through an intense mental development stage. At this time, their brain learns to see the world around them differently.
It is an exciting time because they learn so much in those periods. It can also be stressful as a mother since your baby will be more crabby than usual.
To keep track of these leaps and make life easier for yourself, you can download the Wonder Weeks app on your phone. This app was incredibly beneficial to me because it will tell you when your baby will go through a leap so you can mentally prepare yourself and understand why your baby is acting a certain way.
The app will also tell you how your baby’s brain is developing each week and how to assist them in learning as much as possible during the leap.
The Beautiful Parts Of The First Year
Hopefully, I haven’t scared you about your baby’s first year. Yes, it’s hard work, and there will be tough times, but it’s also incredibly gratifying!
There are SO MANY beautiful things to look forward to as well. The endless cuddles, seeing babies’ first smiles, seeing their little mannerisms, watching them hit their milestones, and bonding with your little human who will become your best friend are just a few of the fantastic things you will experience.
Your baby’s first year of life will have many ups and downs, but I promise you all the ups outweigh the downs. The both of you will learn so much together, and as a new mom, you will become the best version of yourself. (and learn incredible patience)
What Is The Hardest Month Of A Babies First Year?
The newborn phase is usually the toughest, not just because of the sleepless nights that make doing anything strenuous.
The first 3 months are the toughest because your body is still going through postpartum healing, and you will be getting used to a whole new way of life with a tiny baby.
Your new role as a mother involves selflessness, patience, and constant worry about the baby’s needs. It’s not uncommon for new mothers to forget about themselves and don’t know how to fit in time for their own needs.
How To Thrive In The First Year Of Motherhood
Months 0-3
Becoming a mom for the first time is so exciting! Before your baby arrives, all you can think about is meeting them, what they will look like, and all the wonderful things you will experience together.
While all that is exciting, I’m here to help prepare you for life once you take that sweet little bundle of joy home. The first weeks will be rough with postpartum healing and long nights.
It’s crucial to have the tools you need to take care of yourself and your mental health so you can, in return, give your newborn the best of you.
- Self-care: This might be the last thing on your mind when you’re in the thick of new motherhood, but taking care of yourself is extremely important to help avoid the dreaded postpartum depression. Your whole life changed when you brought your new baby home.
Give yourself some grace and make the time to take care of yourself, even if it’s for 30 minutes while the baby is taking a nap. If you need ideas on self-car activities or how to fit them into your day, check out The Complete Guide To Self-Care For New Moms.
- Sleep: Forget about the dishes or the laundry that needs to be done. Go take a nap! Napping when the baby does will make the day much more manageable. It will refresh your brain to get through the rest of the day and make waking up in the middle of the night a bit easier.
- Accept help from others: If your spouse offers to take care of the baby for a little bit so you can sleep in or get some things done, take advantage. Or if a friend or family member offers to cook, clean, or help you in any way, let them. It takes a village to get through the rough patch.
- Get out of the house: Getting vitamin D or brunch with friends will help your mood. Making a routine out of morning walks helped my mental health so much. (you can do all of this with a baby!)
- Take your time with tasks: Choose 2-3 things to get done each day, even if it’s as simple as taking a shower or vacuuming your house. You will already have your hands full with your baby, so take it easy and don’t stress yourself out about not being busy with things you used to keep yourself occupied with.
- Live In The Moment: There may be some hard days, but the newborn stage flies by! Relax and be in the moment with your tiny baby. Cherish all the sweet cuddles and newborn coos while you can.
Related Post: How to Rock Your Morning Routine With A Newborn
Months 3-6
Once your baby hits the 3-month mark, life starts to become more manageable, and as a mother, you have gained a bit more experience. Plus, you are out of the postpartum phase.
During this time, your baby will start babbling more and reaching milestones like sitting up and showing more personality.
Your baby will also begin to sleep more regularly and become more responsive. You will also start to learn about their sleep preferences.
You can do many things to help your baby’s development during this time.
- Help your baby learn to self-soothe: If your baby isn’t a pacifier baby like mine, I help them learn other ways to soothe. I highly recommend a Lovey! A lovey will help your baby self-soothe in any situation. It acts as a security blanket and will help them feel safe.
Introduce a lovey at a young age by putting it next to them while they sleep(away from the face) or in their car seat anytime you go somewhere. This way, they bond with it. I swear a lovey is why my daughter became such a good sleeper and napper by 4 months!
- Talk to them often: narrate your day while you’re doing things or have conversations with them. Research shows that babies who are talked to constantly have a more expansive vocabulary.
- Read to your baby: reading is a fantastic way for you to spend quality time with your little one. It is also very beneficial to their development.
- Continue tummy time: tummy time is essential for them to build the strength to master new milestones. Help them with their milestones. Many videos on youtube will show you how to assist your baby in learning to do things such as rolling over on both sides, pushing themselves up on their arms into a crawling position, and sitting up.
Some babies will also start eating solid foods between 4-6 months. Watch out for the cues that will let you know if they are ready. Consult your doctor for feeding tips.
My daughter started with Earth’s Balance Organic Whole Grain Cereal around 4.5 months. She really enjoyed it. Then we slowly started to introduce single-ingredient purees.
Starting solids is known to help them sleep in longer stretches as well.
Related Post: The Best Book For Babies To Thrive In Their First Year
Mommy Tip: These months can feel so mundane and repetitive. Ways to help combat that and keep yourself sane would be to find a hobby, make more mom friends, have play dates, or sign up for mommy and me classes.
Don’t, forget about your interest while you’re raising your little one. You matter, too, and so does your sanity.
Months 6-9
These were some of my favorite months! Your baby will start to learn gestures and begin to form opinions about things. Some babies start to crawl, and some will even begin to walk between 8-9 months!
As with any milestone, please don’t compare your child with another, they all learn things at a different pace, and that is entirely normal!
During this period, your baby might also start teething. (I say might because some do start later, my daughter started at 11 months) I think teething is the most challenging part of months 6-12. Your baby will be more irritable and crabby, but for a good reason.
Teething is no joke, and it hurts! Be sure to give them lots of love and patience.
Patience is vital in motherhood! Affirmations and breathing techniques saved me in moments when I thought I would absolutely lose it.
Related Post: 55 Positive Affirmations For Moms: Become Less Overwhelmed
Here are some teething tips to help your baby through it
- Natural Ingredient teething relief: I absolutely swear by the Dr. Talbots tablets and the Camilia Teething Relief liquid drops! When I could tell she was in pain, these made a massive difference for my daughter. The relief works very quickly.
- Frozen fruit or breast milk: Using a teether pop works wonders for swollen gums. You can use frozen fruits or breast milk. Your baby will enjoy them and find relief.
- Teething toys: We had an assortment of teething toys for my daughter. Her favorites were the Nuby silicone teeth-eez and Share & Care silicone giraffe. I have also heard really great things about the smily teething penguin.
If you still need to start a nightly sleep routine, now is the time! A night routine is known to help your baby learn to sleep through the night.
A great routine can look like dinner, bath, reading a book, bottle, then bedtime.
Learning to sleep through the night can still be challenging for some babies. The key is to help them learn to self-soothe themselves back to sleep if they wake up, but it is common for some babies to still wake up around once a night.
In the worst-case scenarios, I suggest consulting a sleep consultant as it’s essential for them to learn to sleep around this age so it’s not even harder later on.
If you introduced the lovey early on, your baby will start forming a bond with it by now. If you still need to, start now. The lovey will help them in so many situations as their become older.
Because of the lovey, my daughter sleeps through the night, goes down for naps quickly, and is calm anytime we take her somewhere, it helps calm her if she gets a booboo, and it even relaxes her when she’s upset and doesn’t want to be in her car seat.
I swear the lovey is a mother’s secret weapon!
Months 9-12
Your baby is getting into the pre-toddler stage! They grow so fast. It will have you wondering where the last year went. You might even have baby fever by now if you didn’t already!
At this stage, your baby will likely start becoming pickier with the foods they eat and how they eat them. One day they will love something, and the next, they will hate it. If you have yet to learn extreme patience, you sure will now!
Mommy Tip: If you make them a meal and they won’t eat it, just make them something they will eat. Even if it’s mac n cheese (throw some peas in it), and if you’re worried they aren’t getting the balanced nutrients they need, give them a squeeze pack with the things they need. I always have Once Upon A Farm squeeze packs on hand in case my daughter doesn’t want what I made.
During this period, they also begin to enjoy screen time (if they don’t already) and have favorite toys or activities. An hour of screen time is the perfect time for you to get some things done you’ve been needing to do.
Now that your little one has their own opinions and knows how to get around independently, whether crawling or walking, you will find yourself in some stressful situations.
Ensure the house is securely baby-proofed so you have less to worry about.
Some babies can also still be velcro babies, as in they always want to be held. I find it helps to remind yourself that this is just a phase, and there will come the point where they don’t want to be held or even get cuddles!
Soak it in while you can, even if it feels like your back will break. To help, sometimes I would wear my baby on my back in an Tula Baby carrier or on my hip with a Tush Baby hip seat. This saved my back!
The last few months of their first year go by so quickly, well, really, the whole year does. But before you know it, you will be planning your baby’s first birthday!
Final Thoughts
The journey of motherhood is quite an adventure. There is so much learning involved in the first year of parenting. Learning about the new you, your baby, and how to be a mommy. Yet, it is the most beautiful journey of all.
The most powerful word of advice is to continue doing things you love or find new things you love to do so that you don’t lose yourself in motherhood. It happens, but there are ways to avoid or get out of it.
Also, remind yourself that you are doing the best you can. Mom’s guilt is real. Practicing affirmations can help a lot. You are a great mom, and sometimes you just need the reminder.
Related Post: 6 Most Effective Methods To Rediscover Yourself After Motherhood
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